Puppies are super cute but are A LOT of work, sometimes we don’t realize exactly how much work goes into them until we actually have them in the house. They are completely unpredictable and just when you think you’ve gotten on a routine, they turn around and do something completely unexpected. 

Now I can go into a bunch of detail about what to expect, and how to handle it, but I want to do this in a fun and informative way. I’m going to do a little “puppy prep test” for you, so you can do some things to get ready for what’s coming your way.

1. Get up around 5 am and go outside in your pajamas and walk around the yard for about 15 minutes. Just wander around. Rain, snow, cold, hot. Doesn’t matter. Don’t worry what shoes you put on, chances are you’ll be rushing and will forget them entirely. 

2.  Repeat step one again at 6:30 am and 8:30 and so on and so forth until you go to bed. 

3.  Set an alarm for 3 am, just so you get used to the puppy waking you up in the middle of the night for no reason. 

4.  Throughout the day randomly spill juice around your house in various places, especially on the carpet. Then make sure to walk over it with socks. Puppies have accidents, and you’re not always gonna catch them right away.

5.  In addition to the juice, throw around some chocolate, some melted, some regular. Again walk through it either in bare feet or socks. Let it sit for awhile and then try to clean it up. 

6.  If you plan on crate training your puppy, make sure to set the crate up and throw a blanket, and or bed and a couple stuffed animals in there. Then just toss in a bunch of spaghetti sauce. Really make sure you get it all over everything. But leave it overnight and wake up and try to clean it all up 15 mins before you have to work.  This will help prepare you for the poop explosions that will 100% happen at least once. 

7.  Take a bunch of stuffed animals, and just rip them to shreds and throw all the stuffing all over the place. But also wet some of the stuffing, and then clean it all up. 

8. Go outside with some poop bags in the rain or snow, and just start picking up piles of mud with them. Make sure to rip a few holes in some of them, but surprise yourself with which ones.  If you find some actual dog poop, go ahead and pick that up too, it’s better practice. 

9. Pinch your hands and arms and ankles a bunch, get yourself ready for that puppy teething stage. 

10. Sit down on the couch and then jump up and run into another room. Over and over.  Your puppy likely isn’t going to sit still very long and will most definitely wander off around the house to “explore.”

11. Randomly yell “what are you eating?!?!?” from time to time. Then try to open up a really tough jar, this will build up your hand strength for when you need to pry something out of your pups mouth. 

12. If you know someone with a dog, make sure to ask them to gather up a bunch of fur and give it to you, so you can cover yourself and everything in your house with dog hair. Oh and make sure to spread it all over your car too!

13. Buy an expensive dog bed and then just go ahead and cut it wide open and tear up the inside foam and spread it around the house. 

14. Absolutely walk around your house with muddy or wet shoes, and encourage your friends to come over and do the same. 

15. Get used to vacuuming 2-3 times a day. Then unclogging the vacuum multiple times.

16. If you have a toddler, or know someone that does, trying to dry them off after bath time is essentially the same thing as trying to dry off a puppy that’s just been in the rain. Except for the puppy will most likely try to eat the towel a lot more than the kid would. 

17. Take some of your favorite shoes and socks, and cut some holes in them.

18. Same thing goes with the couch, go ahead with something sharp and poke little holes into it. Maybe make little scratches into your tables and chairs as well. 

19. Start going on random shopping sprees, really rack up the bill. Just drop hundreds of dollars at a time on the spur of the moment. Prepare yourself for all those medical bills and other expenses. 

20. Randomly throw water on the floor, maybe tip over a bowl of water, and then you’ll just want to leave it there until later when you’re rushing to do something else, and step in it.

21. If you leave the house, start setting a timer. You’ll only have so long before you need to come back home for the dog.

22. You’ll want to go stand outside without the proper clothing at least 6 times a day for a minimum of 20 mins each time. Especially if you plan on getting a puppy in the winter. 

23. When you’re on your zoom calls at home, start randomly playing barking or dog crying sounds from your phone. Or even squeaky toy noises. This prepares you and everyone you work with, for all the mid meeting interruptions. 

25. Throw a bunch of treats and poop bags into the pockets of all of your clothing and then just go ahead and run those through the wash. 

26. Go for a nice long walk in the rain or snow. Then come back home, and just as you get to the front door, turn around and go about halfway back where you just walked. You’re going to at some point forget a poop bag and have to come home and go back to pick it up. 

27. Lock yourself out of your house when it’s raining, or really cold. You’re bound to do it at some point when you take the puppy out. 

Do this for at least a couple weeks, preferably a couple months and if you’re all good with all these things, then congratulations!!! That means you are ready for a puppy!! All jokes aside, puppies are a great addition to the family, just understand the “hazards” that come along with puppy parenting. I hope you got a laugh out of this!